Dr. Phil (Joe Pinson, ASCAP) Linda's out there havin' fun with everyone. Her husband says she's nothin' but a flirt. Too much booze makes him lose his self-control. If they don't "get real", someone's gonna get hurt CHORUS:  Does the road you travel always seem uphill? Do the people in your life give you chill? Are you always out there looking for - another purple pill? Don't despair - think NO HAIR - tune in to Doctor Phil. Sammy is a super-size with big brown eyes. His mama says her baby boy is FAT. Sam agrees that he's attracted to burgers and fries. And the people at Mickey Dee's are pleased about that. REPEAT CHORUS Bertha and Bert are old as dirt, but they still like to do it. She's the one who's ready for fun, but sometimes he's not UP to it. He tried the pill that claims it will keep you going strong all night. She called time in round number nine and started another fight. REPEAT CHORUS TAG:  Doctor Phil, Doctor Phil. He wants to help us get it right, and he's hopin' we will. If on life's track you're slippin' back or - just standin' still.  Don't despair - think NO HAIR - tune in to Doctor Phil.